Better To Have Loved...

So ya know how in my first post I said that I was dating a guy? Well, that statement isn’t true anymore. Because of this, I have decided that it would be a good idea to keep myself busy. So I’m writing this to vent a little bit and keep myself busy.

We broke up literally half an hour ago. I was surprised. I was expecting it to be this big fight, but it was actually a lot easier than I thought it would be. Dylyn and I agreed to still be friends, which I think will be good. Who knows, maybe with some time we might get back together, but until then, that’s pretty much it. It’s one of those bittersweet things. Kinda like me going back to school. I’m excited for it, but at the same time I’m terrified about it, which is probably pointless, but that’s the only thing I can compare it to. I’m sad that we’ve broken up, but at the same time I’m happy we’re still friends and in the long run, if it’s supposed to happen, we might get back together. I just have to get over the bitter part of it.

Even though the break up was mutual, it still sucked like a vampire. This may sound awful, but I’ve already put away all the stuff he’s given to me. His weird arrow drawings, the dried roses from Valentine’s Day, and even the teddy bear his gave me that I’ve slept with every night since he gave it to me. The drawing used to be on my corkboard, but now it’s been replaced by my diploma, something I have to prove that I can do whatever I put my mind to. Caramel, the teddy bear he gave me, has been replaced by my first Build-A-Bear, who I named Brooklyn because I was going through a Newsies obsession at the time. I know replacing the things may be weird, but I can’t just have them laying around where I can see them. The point of a break up is to stop constantly thinking about someone and I can’t do that with reminders scattered across my room. And the things I’ve replaced them with are mine. Were it a brutal break up then I probably would have just gotten rid of the things, but I don’t want to erase our relationship. We didn’t end on bad terms, we’re still friends. It’s not like my last one. In my last relationship the only things I was given was a hat and a blue jacket. After we were officially over, I burned them, and I enjoyed it. My mother called me immature. I think we all have a right to be immature sometimes. If we didn’t then everyone would be out of their rights and that’s just wrong.

Anyway, that's really all I have to say. I don't feel much like writing right now.